I started writing my first Cancer Sucks post last year before my mom was officially diagnosed. After her diagnosis, I had zero interest in ruminating the chaos so I didn’t bother finishing the post. Life seemed to stabilize and I was no longer consumed with chasing appointments and following up with insurance companies and doctors.
I honestly did not plan to document anything further. But when my mom was hospitalized for two weeks, I felt so anxious and out of control. There was so much idle wait time and my brain was not in the right state of mind to complete any meaningful deliverables for work. So while I sat with my mom in the hospital, I made hand drawn cards and listened to music. Then after a week, I decided to channel my nervous energy into documenting what was happening to my mom in the hopes of providing some helpful insight for others who were starting their own cancer journey.
I had grand plans to create useful templates for medical contacts and medication lists. Maybe even useful reference guides but then it became too overwhelming to make sure the content was perfect.
I abandoned the need to be productive and decided to just journal for my mental health. I wasn’t sure if I would publish anything I wrote because sharing the news and providing updates to even a few close family & friends oftentimes left me feeling incredibly vulnerable.
But one of the coolest things about opening up to people, is the number of people who have reciprocated and shared their personal experiences with cancer, caretaking, or navigating the healthcare system. It’s incredible how many people were not only able to understand but also taught me many helpful things. I would not wish this experience on anyone but being able to relate to those who have walked the same path has been both validating and encouraging.
Thank you for your positive vibes, support, & prayers. I feel less alone and strengthened to keep trudging along.
WorkingTheTechWorld 